Not-So-Happy Birthday

On October 9th, 1993, at approximately 5:30 AM in Halifax, Nova Scotia, a certain hospital performed their first birth of the day. Thereby, a month overdue (due to my own stubbornness, apparently), I was born.

Some see their birthdays as cause for celebration, especially when it’s the birthday after which you can now legally drink and go to strip clubs (I honestly don’t care about either), I see this as being another year closer to my death, which scares the hell out of me.

Sorry to put a damper on what would otherwise be a joyous occasion, but yeah. This incites more far than joy in me now. Especially since I have class and won’t be home until the night of the 10th, at which point I have to hurry to sleep so I can catch the 5 AM bus the next day. Plus I can’t even rely on gifts to offset the fear, since most of them are clothing (my wardrobe’s full already dammit, I don’t need more) or something else useless, never something I’d actually want or money (which I ask for in substitute of stuff I’d want from people who wouldn’t know how to get the things I’d want).

Only once have I ever had friends in real life that cared enough to give me more than a passive “happy birthday”, either (and I’m not even necessarily talking gifts here). But whatever. It’s not like I ever told anyone in real life how saddening it feels whenever one of these so-called general days of happiness come by.

…No, wait, I actually have. They just brushed it off.

Why do people feel happy about being closer to the day they die? If we’re all going to slowly start the process of our deaths at age 20, why aren’t people scared? I cannot fathom this, so I’m scared. I doubt I’ll even get good sleep tonight. I’ll be too busy thinking about what happens after death, whether religion is right or not (in which case it becomes “What happens between death and judgement?”).

In any case, I am now 19. …Hooray?

On the subject of the blog, Pokémon Black 2 and Code of Princess are gonna keep me distracted for a while, so don’t expect a large amount of blog posts for now (though I’m basically tweeting as I play Black 2).

That is all.


2 thoughts on “Not-So-Happy Birthday

  1. Dude, don’t sweat the whole “one step closer to the grave” thing. Yeah, you’ve got an expiration date, but so does everyone else. What’s important isn’t how much time you have left, but what you do with it. As long as you’re working toward something, or experiencing new things, or meeting new people, or just plain living every day, there’s nothing for you to be worried about. Each new day brings new hope…know what I mean?

    Inspirational speaking isn’t exactly my forte, so I’m gonna go ahead and switch gears. Incidentally, my birthday is tomorrow — though by the sound of things, I’ve got a couple of years on you — so maybe by then I’ll be feeling a little pensive too. But in any case, you have yourself a happy birthday, all right?

    You’ve got Pokemon Black 2. Enjoy it. (I probably couldn’t — the last time I played a Pokemon game, I practically lost entire days of my life.)

    • It’s normal for Pokémon to suddenly engulf all of your time once you pick a new one up. I was even joking around about it with the dude at the store when I got my pre-order. :p

      And yeah, I know the heavy thinking isn’t exactly a good idea. I’m happiest when I don’t think about it, but it’s hard for me to not think about it sometimes. :/

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